When Inception Met Mean Girls
by moviemaniac12
Summary: The title is pretty self-explanatory. Crack.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INCEPTION OR MEAN GIRLS.**

**This is an idea that popped into my head. I hope it's funny. Enjoy and review please!**

* * *

"The plastics. Inception royalty."

I looked to the other end of the warehouse where 3 guys walked in. Yusuf turned to me and rolled his eyes.

"See that one? That's Eames. He is one of the dumbest people you will ever meet."

I looked at the one farthest to the left. He was tall, kind of good looking, but he seemed to be babbaling away with another one about specificity or whatever.

"The one wearing a suit? That's Arthur. He's rich because his dad invented the PASIV. He's the point man he knows everything about everyone. That's why his hair is so slicked back, it's full of secrets."

Arthur was talking on a cell phone. He could have been cute, but his stern face told me he looked like the most boring guy on the planet.

"Evil takes human form in Dom Cobb."

This guy seemed like the king of the world. The others seemed to worship him. Yusuf narrowed his eyes.

"He may seem like your typical backstabbing, widowed emotionally wrecked extractor, but in reality, he is so much more than that."

* * *

"Come sit with us."

Cobb seemed friendly, he had a nice smile. I saw Yusuf looking at me from across the room, but I shrugged and sat down anyway.

"Why don't I know you?"

"I'm the new architect. I just moved here from Paris."

"What?" he seemed shocked.

"I was taught by professor Miles."

"What?"

I paused. "Professor Miles, he's-"

"No, I know who Professor Miles is, I'm not retarded."

I shut up.

Eames looked at me, confused. "So, if you're from Paris…why are you American?"

Arthur shot him a look. "Oh my god Eames, you can't just ask people why they're American."

"Can you give us some privacy for one second?"

I nodded and they converged. Yusuf laughed at me from across the room.

Cobb looked serious. "Ok, you should know that we don't do this a lot so this is like a really big deal."

Arthur smiled. "We want to you perform Inception with us. Everyday for the rest of the week."

Inception? With the plastics? No thanks.

"No, it's fine-"

"Coolness, so we'll see you tomorrow," Cobb grinned. Something about that look made it impossible for me to say no.

Eames smiled at me, exited. "On Wednesdays, we wear pink."

* * *

Being with the plastics was like leaving the real world, and entering the dream world. And dream world had a lot of rules.

"You can't wear a scarf more than once a week. I guess you picked today," Arthur looked me up and down. "If you break any of these rules, you can't perform Inception with us. Not just you I mean, like, any of us…like if I was wearing jeans today, I would be sitting over there with the Chemists." He motioned over to where Yusuf was sitting, playing with chemicals.

I felt a little bad.

"And you always have to vote before hiring someone to perform Inception with us. I mean, you wouldn't give the kick without asking one of your friends first if it would work."

"I wouldn't?"

"Right. Oh and it's the same with Shades, I mean, you might think you like someone but you could be wrong."

Cobb started babbaling on about calories and stormed off. Arthur looked at me.

"So, see any guys you think are cute yet?"

I blushed. "Well…there is this guy in my Paradox class."

Eames gasped. "Who?"

"His name is Robert Fischer-"

"NO!" Arthur snapped. Eames's jaw dropped.

"You can't like him, that's Cobb's ex-mark!"

"Ex-marks are off limits, that's just like, the rules of Extraction!"

* * *

"Hey, hey, hey, it's my best boyfriends!"

This guy looked nuts. Arthur smiled politely. "Hey Mr Saito. This is Ariadne."

After a painful hug, Saito smiled at us. "There are no rules in this dream. I'm not like a regular tourist, I'm a cool tourist. Right Cobb?"

"Please stop talking," Cobb snapped.

* * *

"I know your secret." Cobb said slyly.

Oh no, just start crying and apologising, no, wait, play it cool.

"Secret, what are you talking about?"

"Arthur told me you like Robert Fischer. Aren't you sooooo mad at Arthur for telling me?"

"No."

"Because if you are, you can tell me, it was a really bitchy thing to do."

I sighed. "Yeah, it was bitchy but I just think he likes the attention."

"See Arthur? Told you she wasn't mad at you."

"I can't believe you think I like the attention!" Arthur's angry voice snapped on the other line.

"Love ya, bye!"

The line went dead. This was getting weird.

* * *

"Let me tell you something about Yusuf."

Oh god, here we go again.

"We were best friends in the first level, I know, so embarrassing, I don't even- whatever."

I laughed at his stupidity. This guy was hilarious.

"So anyway, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Browning. And Yusuf was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like if I ditched Yusuf to dream with Browning, Yusuf would be like, why didn't you call me back? So anyway, I didn't invite him to my Extraction because I'm like "Yusuf, I think you're a Chemist." I mean, I couldn't have Chemists at my Extraction, there were going to be Tourists there! I mean right he was a Chemist!"

* * *

"You're not stupid, Eames."

I sat down next to Eames. He looked at me.

"No, I am. I fail in almost every dream."

I paused. "Well, there must be something you're good at?"

Eames thought for a moment, before grinning. "I can change into a hot blonde woman. Wanna see?"

"No, no. That's alright."

* * *

"It's Cobb. He wants me to Extract with him tonight."

"DO NOT extract with him."

"Why?"

Arthur sighed. "You don't want me to tell you."

"Hold on…..Oh my God, he is so annoying."

"Who is?" Arthur asked. Eames paused.

"Who is this?"

"Arthur."

"Right…hold on."

"Oh my God, he is so annoying."

"I know right? Just get rid of him!" Cobb growled. Eames switched lines.

"Ok, what is it?"

"COBB SAYS EVERYONE HATES YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE BRITISH!"

"…He said that?"

"You didn't hear it from me."

"A little harsh, Arthur."

"Whatever, he had the right to know."

Eames switched to Cobb's line. "I can't Extract tonight. *cough* I'm sick."

Cobb narrowed his eyes. "Boo, you whore."

* * *

"Cobb, we have to talk to you."

Eames and Arthur sat down opposite Cobb and I. Arthur glared at him. "Cobb, you're spinning your totem. It's reality."

"So?" Cobb stuffed his face. Eames leaned forward.

"So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us."

Cobb snorted. "Whatever, those rules aren't real."

Eames backed away. "They were real that time I played Edith Piaf."

"Because that song is hideous."

"YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!"

Cobb froze. Arthur looked at the floor.

"My top is all that spins right now," Cobb mumbled. Arthur and Eames said nothing. I sat there, watching. Cobb stood up.

"Fine, you can give yourselves the kick, bitches!"

* * *

"Arthur, I'm sorry I called you a stick in the mud that time in Mombassa, and I'm sorry for telling everyone about it. And I'm sorry for doing it now." Eames fell into the crowd.

Arthur stood up on the platform next. "I'm sorry that everyone wants to kiss me in the dream, but I can't help it that I'm Joseph Gordon Levitt."


	2. Chapter 1 Edited! New scenes!

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INCEPTION OR MEAN GIRLS.**

**This is an idea that popped into my head. I hope it's funny. Enjoy and review please!**

**SOME NEW PARTS HAVE BEEN ADDED IN. THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE AMAZING FEEDBACK!**

* * *

"The plastics. Inception royalty."

I looked to the other end of the warehouse where 3 guys walked in. Yusuf turned to me and rolled his eyes.

"See that one? That's Eames. He is one of the dumbest people you will ever meet."

I looked at the one farthest to the left. He was tall, kind of good looking, but he seemed to be babbaling away with another one about specificity or whatever.

"The one wearing a suit? That's Arthur. He's rich because his dad invented the PASIV. He's the point man he knows everything about everyone. That's why his hair is so slicked back, it's full of secrets."

Arthur was talking on a cell phone. He could have been cute, but his stern face told me he looked like the most boring guy on the planet.

"Evil takes human form in Dom Cobb."

This guy seemed like the king of the world. The others seemed to worship him. Yusuf narrowed his eyes.

"He may seem like your typical backstabbing, widowed emotionally wrecked extractor, but in reality, he is so much more than that."

* * *

"Come sit with us."

Cobb seemed friendly, he had a nice smile. I saw Yusuf looking at me from across the room, but I shrugged and sat down anyway.

"Why don't I know you?"

"I'm the new architect. I just moved here from Paris."

"What?" he seemed shocked.

"I was taught by professor Miles."

"What?"

I paused. "Professor Miles, he's-"

"No, I know who Professor Miles is, I'm not retarded."

I shut up.

Eames looked at me, confused. "So, if you're from Paris…why are you American?"

Arthur shot him a look. "Oh my god Eames, you can't just ask people why they're American."

"Can you give us some privacy for one second?"

I nodded and they converged. Yusuf laughed at me from across the room.

Cobb looked serious. "Ok, you should know that we don't do this a lot so this is like a really big deal."

Arthur smiled. "We want to you perform Inception with us. Everyday for the rest of the week."

Inception? With the plastics? No thanks.

"No, it's fine-"

"Coolness, so we'll see you tomorrow," Cobb grinned. Something about that look made it impossible for me to say no.

Eames smiled at me, exited. "On Wednesdays, we wear pink."

* * *

Being with the plastics was like leaving the real world, and entering the dream world. And dream world had a lot of rules.

"You can't wear a scarf more than once a week. I guess you picked today," Arthur looked me up and down. "If you break any of these rules, you can't perform Inception with us. Not just you I mean, like, any of us…like if I was wearing jeans today, I would be sitting over there with the Chemists." He motioned over to where Yusuf was sitting, playing with chemicals.

I felt a little bad.

"And you always have to vote before hiring someone to perform Inception with us. I mean, you wouldn't give the kick without asking one of your friends first if it would work."

"I wouldn't?"

"Right. Oh and it's the same with Shades, I mean, you might think you like someone but you could be wrong."

Cobb started babbaling on about calories and stormed off. Arthur looked at me.

"So, see any guys you think are cute yet?"

I blushed. "Well…there is this guy in my Paradox class."

Eames gasped. "Who?"

"His name is Robert Fischer-"

"NO!" Arthur snapped. Eames's jaw dropped.

"You can't like him, that's Cobb's ex-mark!"

"Ex-marks are off limits, that's just like, the rules of Extraction!"

* * *

"Hey, hey, hey, it's my best boyfriends!"

This guy looked nuts. Arthur smiled politely. "Hey Mr Saito. This is Ariadne."

After a painful hug, Saito smiled at us. "There are no rules in this dream. I'm not like a regular tourist, I'm a cool tourist. Right Cobb?"

"Please stop talking," Cobb snapped.

* * *

I walked into the warehouse were Cobb, Eames and Arthur were standing over a desk. Cobb was spinning his totem.

"That, is your totem?" I asked. He smirked.

"It was my wife's totem…but I made her trade me."

Eames walked over to the CD player and played a track. Cobb looked at me, condescending.

"Ariadne, do you even know who sings this?"

I paused. "Umm…Edith Piaf?"

Cobb looked at Arthur and laughed. "I love her, she's like a tourist."

* * *

Saito offered up a plate full of drinks. The others grabbed some, leaving me to look down at my glass.

"Um…is there…Somnacin in this?"

Satio looked offended. "Oh God honey no! Why do you want some, because if you do I prefer you use the PASIV."

* * *

"I know your secret." Cobb said slyly.

Oh no, just start crying and apologising, no, wait, play it cool.

"Secret, what are you talking about?"

"Arthur told me you like Robert Fischer. Aren't you sooooo mad at Arthur for telling me?"

"No."

"Because if you are, you can tell me, it was a really bitchy thing to do."

I sighed. "Yeah, it was bitchy but I just think he likes the attention."

"See Arthur? Told you she wasn't mad at you."

"I can't believe you think I like the attention!" Arthur's angry voice snapped on the other line.

"Love ya, bye!"

The line went dead. This was getting weird.

* * *

This was unbelievable. Arthur was standing across from me in the bathroom…crying his eyes out.

"If you even knew how mean he really is. Last year, he told me that ideas was HIS thing. And for Hanukkah last year my dad got me this really awesome idea, and I had to pretend that I didn't even like it and…it was so sad." He started sobbing.

* * *

I found myself running after Cobb.

"Cobb wait, Cobb stop-"

He turned around and yelled at me. "Do you know what everyone says about you? They say you're a hand me down Architect, who's a less hot version of me! So don't try and act so innocent, you can take your fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy a-"

BAM. He was hit by a train.

* * *

I guess I'll never know what I missed on that first day of Reality class…

"Don't recreate from memory. Because you will lose your grasp on reality….and drop into limbo."

* * *

Cobb leaned over. "Oh my God, I love your totem, where did you get it?"

I fumbled with my totem. "I made it…"

"It's adorable," he smiled. Arthur grinned.

"Specificity."

Cobb looked at him. "What is specificity?"

Arthur suddenly froze. "It's like slang from…Inception."

* * *

"Let me tell you something about Yusuf."

Oh god, here we go again.

"We were best friends in the first level, I know, so embarrassing, I don't even- whatever."

I laughed at his stupidity. This guy was hilarious.

"So anyway, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Browning. And Yusuf was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like if I ditched Yusuf to dream with Browning, Yusuf would be like, why didn't you call me back? So anyway, I didn't invite him to my Extraction because I'm like "Yusuf, I think you're a Chemist." I mean, I couldn't have Chemists at my Extraction, there were going to be Tourists there! I mean right he was a Chemist!"

* * *

"You're not stupid, Eames."

I sat down next to Eames. He looked at me.

"No, I am. I fail in almost every dream."

I paused. "Well, there must be something you're good at?"

Eames thought for a moment, before grinning. "I can change into a hot blonde woman. Wanna see?"

"No, no. That's alright."

* * *

"It's Cobb. He wants me to Extract with him tonight."

"DO NOT extract with him."

"Why?"

Arthur sighed. "You don't want me to tell you."

"Hold on…..Oh my God, he is so annoying."

"Who is?" Arthur asked. Eames paused.

"Who is this?"

"Arthur."

"Right…hold on."

"Oh my God, he is so annoying."

"I know right? Just get rid of him!" Cobb growled. Eames switched lines.

"Ok, what is it?"

"COBB SAYS EVERYONE HATES YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE BRITISH!"

"…He said that?"

"You didn't hear it from me."

"A little harsh, Arthur."

"Whatever, he had the right to know."

Eames switched to Cobb's line. "I can't Extract tonight. *cough* I'm sick."

Cobb narrowed his eyes. "Boo, you whore."

* * *

"Cobb, we have to talk to you."

Eames and Arthur sat down opposite Cobb and I. Arthur glared at him. "Cobb, you're spinning your totem. It's reality."

"So?" Cobb stuffed his face. Eames leaned forward.

"So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us."

Cobb snorted. "Whatever, those rules aren't real."

Eames backed away. "They were real that time I played Edith Piaf."

"Because that song is hideous."

"YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!"

Cobb froze. Arthur looked at the floor.

"My top is all that spins right now," Cobb mumbled. Arthur and Eames said nothing. I sat there, watching. Cobb stood up.

"Fine, you can give yourselves the kick, bitches!"

* * *

"Arthur, I'm sorry I called you a stick in the mud that time in Mombassa, and I'm sorry for telling everyone about it. And I'm sorry for doing it now." Eames fell into the crowd.

Arthur stood up on the platform next.

"I'm sorry that everyone wants to kiss me in the dream, but I can't help it that I'm Joseph Gordon Levitt."


End file.
